Conversation is a girls best friend.

My head feels so much clearer. I think the metaphor I have to use to describe my mind goes like this:
When I have problems they invade my body like dark clouds filling with rain. The longer these problems linger in my mind the bigger, darker, and heavier the clouds become. Soon everywhere I look, I have to peer through the darkness. My every move starts to feel weighted and painful. My thoughts become completely clouded over with my saddness and soon my whole body is so filled up with depression that I can no longer eat. But when someone listens the rain comes. The rain comes down and though some things may be painful to say at the moment, saying them eliminates the heavy burden that had been crushing me. The cloud eventually rains itself completely away and I can breathe again. I feel clear and free and content.

"Creep"

I hate who I am. I hate that I have this stupid personality that gets along with most but no one really loves. I've said it before and I'll say it again, but I just really wish I could actually connect with someone for once. I want to be more than just someone liked and accepted. I want to be loved and appreciated. I want to missed.

"I want you to notice when I'm not around."

Thom Yorke said it perfectly as he always does. I do want people to notice when I'm not around. I'm noticed when I am around. I always make sure of that one way or another, but if I suddenly became completely absent from the lives of those around me would anyone really miss me at all? Or would the memory of me fade into the background never to resurface in their minds again? Questions I ask myself again and again.